mattressblowoutsale:

the cashier gave me the most condescending look when I took this

mattressblowoutsale:

the cashier gave me the most condescending look when I took this

pixyled:

and-down-we-go:

My Mom just accidentally prematurely sent an email to an accounting firm… It was supposed to say ‘I am afraid that we will have to postpone our meeting”

but she hit send when all it said was

Hi Jeffrey,
      I am afraid

THIS POS T GETS ME EVEYRTIME

haleyscomett-art:

I FOUND IT

NO ONE BELIEVED ME WHEN I SAID I HEARD AN ICE CREAM TRUCK DROPIN BEATS DOWN THE STREET

NOW I HAVE A VID TO PROVE IT OMG I’M SO HAPPY I DIDN’T IMAGINE IT YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME

johnentwlstle:

msg me if u want hints

johnentwlstle:

msg me if u want hints

jaesama:

when your favorite band has shitty merch
image

slutcal:

hoodalum:

never ever forget

I can’t stop laughing

slutcal:

hoodalum:

never ever forget

I can’t stop laughing

starryashton:

Ashton can do so many things.
Need a guitarist? Ashton
Need a bassist? Ashton
Need a lead singer? Ashton
Need someone to make you smile? Ashton
Need someone to ruin your life forever? Ashton

(x)

officialcrow:

baylorbeats:

skrippers:

bigeisamazing:

regalasfuck:

truest shit ive ever read

bullshit. cheaters don’t strive for A’s. they strive for C’s. getting A’s make shit look to obvious especially when you ain’t doing the bare minimum in class

I went for A’s when I cheated.

who wants to cheat for a c? if you gon cheat, cheat big

"lemme rob this bank for 3 grand…. dont wanna make it….obvious"

officialcrow:

baylorbeats:

skrippers:

bigeisamazing:

regalasfuck:

truest shit ive ever read

bullshit. cheaters don’t strive for A’s. they strive for C’s. getting A’s make shit look to obvious especially when you ain’t doing the bare minimum in class

I went for A’s when I cheated.

who wants to cheat for a c? if you gon cheat, cheat big

"lemme rob this bank for 3 grand…. dont wanna make it….obvious"

meladoodle:

sorry son, it’s not MY fault you were born on opposite day.. now where are my presents

In the delivery room

tokomon:

mother: is it a boy or a girl?

doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor

cyberuser:

cyberuser:

vvankinq:

cyberuser:

what do you call a message sent by a girl?

*sighs* what

a feMAIL

i got 7 messages saying this joke is offensive & that i’m the reason feminism exists

mogarisreadytoblog:

mrcaseythegreat:

miss-mcguiness:

imleigh:

“DONT BOTHER COMING HOME”

“GONNA SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE.”

"I ACCIDENTALLY HAD SEX WITH IT."

"NOW WE’RE IN LOVE"

I will never not love dog texts.